Why You Should Never Tell Men From The UK That You Like Their "Pants"

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I and two of my closest friends had taken the long flight from Canada to the UK (specifically York) to be the bridesmaids for our childhood pal. A fellow Canadian, she was marrying the love of her life — a ginger-haired lovable guy from Scotland. 

The days leading up to the wedding were a whirlwind of last minute shopping, events, decorating and general wedding preparations, giving very little time to get to know the Scottish/English side of the family that would be attending the wedding.

The ceremony was held in a beautiful stone building at the edge of the lush, green museum grounds, and after the "I do's" we all filtered out into the courtyard to sip champagne, and mingle. 

Embracing the chance to finally get to know some of the groom's friends and family, I approached a group of dapper looking gentlemen to introduce myself. One was wearing a pair of vibrantly colored plaid pants, and thinking that it was the perfect icebreaker, I walked up to the group and said,

"I noticed your pants from across the room, and I have to tell you that I love them! They are fantastic!"

The man to his right spit his beer out and started laughing. The one to his left covered his mouth with his hand trying to hide his amusement, while the man that I had spoken to — the one with the FABULOUS pants — just looked at me a bit wide-eyed. 

Confused at their reaction, I could feel myself turning red and said again, "Really, those are great pants!"

Now all three of them were laughing.

Really confused, and now the color of the nearby roses, I was debating running away when one of the VERY kind groomsmen leaned over from the group next to us and whispered, "In the UK, 'pants' mean underwear or panties."

Shit.

I had just told the groom's uncle that I liked his underwear.

After I closed my mouth, I turned to the laughing men and sheepishly said, "TROUSERS, I like you TROUSERS."

Then shrugging, I pointed at myself and said, "Canadian, not my fault!" and walked away in search of people who understood my own language...

Walking past a group of kilted men on the way to the bar I had an "Aha" moment, as I realized that all the groom's friends who had been telling me that they weren't wearing "pants" (duh I had thought, I can see that you are in a skirt), were actually telling me that they weren't wearing... 

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Don't Touch The Monks in Southeast Asia!

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In Thailand approximately 95% of the population is Buddhist, which means that the country is chock-full of breathtaking temples (wat in Thai), elaborately carved statues of the Buddha, and saffron-coloured-robe clad monks (approx. 460,000 of them!). 

It is an expectation across the country that EVERY Thai male will become a monk for at least a short period in their life.

This practice, much like compulsory military service in countries like South Korea, usually occurs between the completion of school and the beginning of a career or marriage. It is not unusual however for males under the age of 20 to ‘take robe and bowl’ as novices, because a family earns great merit when a son becomes a monk. 

The time spent in a wat is traditionally supposed to last for three months and take place during the Buddhist version of lent that begins in July and coincides with the monsoon season.

Nowadays. however. most men spend as little as a week in the temple in order to accrue merit as a monk. 

As is the case in most organized religions, women do not have the same status as men, and are not permitted to become monks. Outnumbered by them almost 50 to 1 — I never actually saw one when I was in Thailand — these female devotees to Buddha shave their heads, wear white robes, and are called nuns. 

“It is an expectation across the country that EVERY Thai male will become a monk for at least a short period in their life”

The lower status of women in Buddhist practice was even more obvious to me when I learned that one of the 250 rules that monks follow is that they are not allowed to touch or be touched by women.

If you are female and want to give them alms or food, you must set the offering nearby or on their receiving cloth.

If you so much as brush against a monk on the crowded streets or water taxis of Thailand, they will have to return to the temple and perform rituals (think Silas from The DaVinci Code but less extreme) to cleanse themselves of your touch.

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Quinceanera: Celebrating a Girl's Coming of Age on Her Fifteenth Birthday

Sweat was running down the faces of the guests, dressed in their best clothes, fanning themselves with newspapers and napkins. Nobody seemed to care though, tonight was a night to celebrate.

It was Jenny’s fifteenth birthday, her Quinceanera, and we were crammed into a hot, stuffy hall in Ojo de Agua, Honduras waiting for the celebration to begin.

There were hundreds of pale pink balloons hanging from the rafters and an arch of even more balloons, and streamers hung over the doorway. Fifteen fluffy looking cakes sat on display at the front of the room, unaffected by the heat, and a DJ dressed in a brown tweed jacket (he must have been sweltering) was quietly setting up in the corner. 

A hush suddenly went over the crowd and turning towards the door, I saw Jenny for the first time. She was standing under the arch on the arm of her father and was dressed in a long pink gown.

Glowing with excitement and pride, she took an enthusiastic step forward into the room.

The crowd erupted in cheers.   

It was time to start the party! 

What is Quinceanera?

In Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Central America and South America, Quinceanera is a major rite of passage for all females. Literally meaning ‘one who is fifteen’, this celebration marks the transition from childhood to women-hood.

Traditional ways to celebrate Quinceanera

Though all 15th birthday parties in these cultures will vary, there are some pretty cool traditions that, from my research, seem to happen fairly consistently.

• Ceremony Of The 15 Candles
  The birthday girl hands out 15 candles to the people she considers to have been the most influential in her life.

• Changing Of The Shoes
  The girl’s father, or a close male relative, exchanges her flat shoes for high heels to mark her transition from child to woman.

• The Last Doll
  Either part of a ceremony or simply on display, this doll is another symbol of the last moments of childhood.

• The Dress
  Traditionally the colour ‘pink’ represents purity and so the dress is usually an elaborate pink ball gown.

• Makeup
  This celebration was meant to be the first time that the birthday girl wore makeup (not often reality in this century).

• Choreographed Dances
  There are special dances, usually involving 15 people, that are performed throughout the evening. A girl’s Quinceanera was traditionally the first time that she danced in public.

• Gifts
  They might be in the form of religious blessings, toasts, or physical objects like tiaras, flowers, and sceptres.

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Reads For The Road: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

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If you haven't read The Alchemist yet, then you need to get yourself to a bookstore immediately, and if you have read it, then you should probably read it again. Yup, it's that good.  But, not only is it that good, I find that the message you take away from the book changes depending on the stage of life you happen to find yourself in. 

You might read Paulo Coelho's story and realize that you need to pack your bags and go on an adventure immediately or come to the realization that you have everything that you want right in front of you, you just hadn't realized it yet!  

“…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”

— "The Alchemist" page 24

This enchanting story follows a shepherd boy named Santiago, who travels to the Pyramids of Egypt in search of buried treasure. Along the way, he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself a king, and an Alchemist who give him guidance on his journey.

What begins as a search for worldly goods, ends up turning into a meditation on the importance of listening to our hearts and the transforming power of giving in and letting destiny guide you to your dreams.

An absolute must-read. 

“‘Why do you tend a flock of sheep?’

’Because I like to travel.’

The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop window at one corner of the plaza. “When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he’s an old man, he’s going to spend a month in Africa. He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”

’He should have decided to become a shepherd’”

— "The Alchemist" page 24

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How Buddha's Birthday is Celebrated in South Korea

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The air was thick with anticipation.

A hush fell over the crowded streets as the last light slowly disappeared behind the horizon.

Suddenly, without warning, the low, deep boom of a drum echoed in the distance. As the sound grew closer, I could feel its vibrations deep in my stomach and my pulse start to race as I gave in to the crowd’s excitement. 

We erupted in cheers, as the drummer rounded the corner and the dark street came alive from the glow of thousands of elaborately painted and intricately sculpted paper lanterns.

I couldn’t stop myself from joining the people beside me yelling into the jubilant air.

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Lanterns, prayers, and offerings

In South Korea, Buddha’s Birthday begins with a massive night parade filled with people in traditional, colourful costumes carrying elaborate paper lanterns that light up the streets. 

For the week following the parade, these lanterns cover the ceilings and exterior open spaces of Buddhist temples all over the country. Prayers and wishes are written on thin strips of paper that hang from them, swaying back and forth in the spring breeze in rhythm with the chanting monks.

The lanterns create ceilings of pink, orange, yellow, blue, and white so thick that you cannot even see the sky. Under these rainbow coloured ceilings, Koreans in stocking feet line up, waiting patiently for their turn to enter the temples so they can place offerings of food and incense in front of gold Buddha statues. 

When is Buddha's birthday?

Followers of Mahayana Buddhism celebrate the birth and enlightenment of Prince Gautama Buddha (b.563BC) from the end of April to the end of May (some celebrations last a day, a week, or the whole month). This ‘original’ Buddha — literally meaning ‘awakened one’ — was the spiritual teacher from the Indian subcontinent on whose teachings Buddhism was founded.

Buddha’s birthday was by far the largest celebration that I witnessed while living in Asia.

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Reads For The Road: The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

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Written by award-winning journalist Alan Weisman, The World Without Us is a fascinating book that examines all aspects of a simple question:

What would happen to the planet if human beings just disappeared?

Now, Weisman is quick to clarify that this disappearance would not be because of something violent like a natural disaster or nuclear war. No, he is examining what the result would be if all of us just suddenly vanished into thin air. 

What would happen to the land, the cities, the ocean, the climate, our garbage, our art? How long — if ever — would it take for all human traces to disappear? 

Weisman’s does a great job of approaching these questions from all angles and taking readers through his journey of discovery and research.  

The New York Times Book Review called it “A fascinating eco-thriller…” and I couldn’t agree more — I couldn't put it down or stop talking about it with my friends and family (sorry guys). 

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The Swiss Guard: From Mercenaries To Pope Protectors

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Like the Queens Guard, standing serious and at constant attention outside of Buckingham Palace, the Swiss Guard stands in full (colourful) uniform outside of the Vatican buildings with the sole purpose of keeping the Pope safe. 

Why do the Swiss guard the Pope? 

During the 1400s and 1500s, Switzerland was an incredibly poor, overpopulated country and unable to support themselves at home, thousands of Swiss men would hire themselves out as mercenary soldiers.

The use of revolutionary battle tactics made them the most powerful army of the 15th century and because they had a reputation for being courageous, noble and loyal they were an integral part of wars in France, Spain and Italy. 

The modern-day Swiss Guard, the ‘military’ of Vatican City, is the smallest active army in the world and has been responsible for the safety of the Pope since 1506 when Pope Julius II invited them to Rome himself.

They are now the only military regimen that exists at the Vatican for both ceremonial and active roles. (They once shared these roles with the Palatine Guard and Noble Guard that were both disbanded in 1970 under Paul VI) There are usually between 100-150 members, who act as bodyguards, ceremonial guards and palace guards, present in Vatican City at all times.

Requirements for being a member of the Swiss Guard

Becoming a member of this elite army is no easy feat. You must be:

• Swiss

• Catholic

• Single

• Male

• Between the ages of 19-30

• Must have basic training in the Swiss military

• Must have a professional degree or high school diploma

• Obtain certificates of good conduct

• Be at least 5ft 8.5in tall

If you have every single one of these characteristics and pass the application process, you will be sworn in on May 6 (the Anniversary of the Sack of Rome) and pledge your loyalty and life to the Pope for a term that can last anywhere from 2-25 years.

The Swiss Guard uniforms

Their uniforms are so close to a costume that many visitors assume that the men inside of them are actors on display for their benefit, rather than real soldiers. Looking like they stepped out of a Renaissance painting, the official uniform is composed of bright blue, red, orange and yellow, the colors of the Medici family (the wealthy Renaissance family from Florence).

Weighing 8lbs, it may be the heaviest uniform in use for any standing army and is by far the most complicated to construct-154 pieces, 32 hours, 3 fittings. 

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